This Valentine's Day: Embrace Self-Compassion By Kathleen Syndey

Valentine’s Day often highlights our relationships with others—but what about the relationship we have with ourselves? As a psychotherapist, I see so many folks who are quick to offer kindness and care to others, but struggle to extend the same grace and warmth to themselves.

Kristin Neff, a leading researcher in the study of self-compassion, reminds us that being kind to ourselves isn’t self-indulgence or a warm and fuzzy feeling, but an act of emotional resilience. Self-compassion encourages us to hold our pain gently and recognize that feeling flawed is part of what makes us human.

Here are a few gentle and practical steps to support you in nurturing a kinder relationship with yourself:

·       Self-kindness: Notice your inner-dialogue and ask—Would I speak this way to a close friend? If not, try to gently shift your tone to one of understanding and encouragement.

·       Recognize your shared humanity: While your experience may feel isolating; remember that you’re not alone in your mistakes, imperfections or suffering  

·       Practice mindful awareness: Check in with your feelings without judgment. Allow space for whatever you experience, knowing that feelings come and go.

Like any new habit, practicing self-compassion takes time and intention, but offers considerable benefits.  According to Neff’s research, extending self-compassion can reduce anxiety, build emotional strength, and foster a deeper sense of connection to yourself and others.

….And while we reflect on our relationships with others, remember that one of the most meaningful ways to celebrate love is to start with yourself <3 

Kathleen is a Registered Social Worker and Psychotherapist who is currently accepting new clients. Learn more about Kathleen’s practice and reach out to book a free consult to explore if working together feels like a good fit.

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